Nathaniel

Shockey

Read Nathaniel's bio and previous columns here

March 13, 2008

Hey, You, Generous Tipper: Thanks for Buying the Booze!

Dining out is considerably different for those who have worked in the food service industry. It’s like getting to live once as a Montague and once as a Capulet. You realize that good and evil are not so obvious.

There are two primary philosophies of the food service industry. There is the one that says servers work their butts off and earn every penny they get – generally held by servers or former servers. Then there are those who are reluctant to so quickly abandon hard-earned cash – generally held by those who have not been servers.

Have you ever met or heard of a soldier who comes back from a war only to curse it, its leaders and occasionally even the country that sent them? As a veteran of the food service industry, I think my case is somewhat similar. My apologies to the hard-working servers out there whose tips would be negatively affected. This is not my intention – necessarily.

The truth is, there are a lot of good reasons not to tip a high percentage.

First, realize that if you’ve ever been out to eat – and I mean ever – there is about a 97 percent chance you’ve been mocked, laughed at and/or disparaged by your server and several other servers in your particular server’s vicinity. It’s what they do. Can you remember that time you asked for some salt and were informed that it was right in front of you? Or perhaps the time you asked for some extra butter, and just after your server left to retrieve it, realized you needed ketchup as well. It’s an honest mistake, but if you asked him for ketchup when he showed up with your butter, I am confident that you were cursed under his breath. Or how about the time you told your server that joke everybody loves? Yeah, he made fun of you for that, too, and proceeded to tell it to his coworkers who couldn’t believe anything so ridiculous could come from the mouth of anyone who didn’t have an unusually comic case of Tourettes Syndrome.

Not all servers feel so disdainful about customers, but all servers do complain about them. It’s just a habit even the nice ones fall into, which has a miraculous ability to keep things peaceful during the more difficult shifts. It’s sort of like fighting in hockey. If you don’t let the individuals fight, then there will eventually be a full-scale brawl.

But let’s just say you happen to get a particularly nice server who, coincidentally, didn’t say anything derisive about you that night. You tipped them a full 20 percent of your $100 check. Do you want to know where that money probably went? Booze. Yup, your friendly server just bought himself three beers and one for his buddy. It’s what servers do, especially (but not only) if they’re at least 21 years old. They usually make just enough to pay for whatever bills their parents aren’t, and the rest of it goes straight to the local pub. It’s not all that different from giving money to a homeless person. You know exactly where it’s going, which is why you usually don’t do it.

But what you’ve forgotten is that most servers, like most homeless people, don’t have college degrees. They’re not exactly trying to save the world. They’re just surviving. And this is the primary good reason not to tip well. Do you know how much a server makes in a year? In California, a server at an average restaurant rakes in anywhere from one hundred to three hundred dollars a night, five nights a week, plus several pay checks a month. Do the math. It’s anywhere from $40,000 to $60,000 a year, or more, after taxes. Oh yeah, in case you hadn’t guessed, servers cheat on their taxes, too.

Do you know how much your average college professor makes? The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics estimated $56,000 before taxes.

The situation is quite stupid.

But then, if you don’t tip your server well, even though it is incredibly unlikely that he’ll actually spit in your food (I’ve never seen, talked to, or even heard from a reliable source of anyone who has done ever this), don’t expect quality service if you ever visit the same restaurant again.

The best and only thing to do if you, like most people, have a favorite restaurant, is to automatically factor in a 20 percent tip. In the meantime, use whatever means necessary to convince yourself you are not being mocked and that your server will not spend this money on booze. Tell yourself that your server is supporting a family, or a college education (which is possible, but not incredibly likely). Because after learning the rotten truth about the food service industry, it’s probably your best chance of enjoying it from the consumer’s side ever again.

Or here’s an even better tip: Buy a cookbook.

© 2008 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

Click here to talk to our writers and editors about this column and others in our discussion forum.

To e-mail feedback about this column, click here. If you enjoy this writer's work, please contact your local newspapers editors and ask them to carry it.

This is Column # NS102. Request permission to publish here.