David

Karki

Read David's bio and previous columns here

January 28, 2008

Hey, Al Gore! Give Me Light Bulbs and Thermostats or Give Me Death!

Minus 17° F. That was the low temperature this mid-winter morning as I walked outside and coughed on the frigid arctic air that burned my windpipe as I attempted to inhale it, before starting my minivan's engine so it could idle for 20 minutes and then be warm enough to drive. 

Some think we Minnesotans are crazy to live in such conditions, but then every location has its risks – hurricanes in the southeast, summer heat in the desert southwest, and so on. Those of us endowed with a healthy sense of humility, logic and common sense understand that these extremes are perfectly normal; that they have been occurring off and on for many, many years; and that they are far beyond our puny ability to significantly affect.

Sadly, this grounded understanding has completely escaped one Al Gore and his radical environmentalist acolytes. Ol' Al has jumped off the reality train and headed for parts unknown.

Never mind the crust of frost on my bedroom windows; Al says “the climate crisis is significantly worse.” You want to come up here without thermal underwear, a parka, gloves and a stocking cap and say that?

Never mind the two-foot thick ice that has returned to and now covers Disko Bay, Greenland. Al says the polar ice caps may disappear during summers within five years. Imagine that: ice melting in the summer, and freezing back in winter! The hell you say!

And never mind the federal government banning incandescent light bulbs come 2012; Al says it's not enough, and that we must change laws, “not just light bulbs.” Uh, first of all Al, the new ban is changing the law, you idiot! And more importantly, you and your wacko tree-hugging allies have no right whatsoever to stomp on personal liberties just to stroke your massive ego for having solved an entirely non-existent crisis.

That is really the point here. The tyrannical means being used to implement this lunatic environmentalist policy is so beyond anything we Americans should find tolerable, much less acceptable, that even if the ends were desirable we should not stand for it. What we are really talking about, when you take away the pseudo-benevolent green crapola behind which these psychos hide, is totalitarian control of every last detail of your life.

Think that's too strong? Think I'm overreacting? The California Legislature – where most whacked-out loony left-wing ideas begin before marching across the land to torture and harass us all – is currently considering a bill that would put government in charge of all thermostats in the state, ostensibly to reduce energy consumption. That this consumption is entirely being paid for by the consumer and therefore no drain on anyone else is apparently beyond their limited mental capacity. As is private property and the Fourth Amendment.

It should not take a constitutional law expert to see freedom being squashed. When government can dictate what type of light bulbs you can and can't buy, or how warm or cool your home will be, or what mileage a car engine must or cannot be, they in principle control your entire life. The only reason they haven't grabbed it all is they're moving slowly and incrementally, so you won't notice until the chains are already wrapped around you and the lock snapped in place, so you can't escape.

And then they use the emotional bludgeon of being “green” to silence and intimidate their opposition. If you stand against them in any way, you hate the environment and you're a “denier.” About the only thing missing from this cult-like mentality is to have folks like me be burned at the stake as heretics.

Again, lest you think I'm overdoing it, think about this: What does it say that we have actually reached the point where bans on incandescent light bulbs, proposed government-controlled thermostats and ethanol requirements that would require wiping out the nation's food supply to fulfill no longer raise an eyebrow, much less the people's dander? Or that Gore can rant and rave on and on in direct contradiction of plainly observable facts and not be totally discounted as the insane charlatan he is?

Folks, this is not complicated. The reason we have $3- and $4-a-gallon gasoline, rising food prices and the invasive tentacles of dictatorial control wrapping around our lives is due to radical environmentalist policies passed by liberal politicians of both parties, at the behest of groups like the Sierra Club, Greenpeace and  the Environmental Defense Fund – absolutely none of whom will live by the lower standard of living they will force upon the rest of us, as Gore himself proves by burning thousands of gallons of fuel jetting to all these stupid “global climate change” conferences.

When these forces of tyranny are confronted and defeated, we will have lower prices for gas and food, the freedom to choose our home's temperature and the type of bulb that will light it for ourselves, and a national energy policy that isn't stark raving mad. 

If I might paraphrase that great patriot, Patrick Henry: Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is environmental correctness so dear, or being “green” so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me give me incandescent light bulbs, my own thermostat, and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE or give me death!

Now then, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to stock up on 100-watt soft whites for my lamps while I still can without being branded a criminal.

© 2008 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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