David J.

Pollay

Read David's bio and previous columns

July 21, 2008

Be TANK-full, and Do Happy                                                                                       

Bring out your best in life. Take my “TANK” quiz now.

Make a mental note of how you feel when you hear the following: (1) Your best friend achieved something great; (2) Someone in another department of your organization was promoted; (3) Someone you know became famous; (4) Someone you met at a party said, “I love what I do!”

If your answers are anything but, “I’m happy for all of them,” you have just been given an important clue that you may not be living your best possible life.

Here’s another outward sign that your life is not as satisfying as it could be. Notice the way in which you respond to a friend who says, “I have great news that I want to share with you.” You friend proceeds to tell you all about it and then you give an answer like, “Good for you.” And that’s all you say. Or you launch into something about yourself. Or maybe you start complaining about how things are for you and others.

Here’s the challenge. If you are responding in any of those ways, you are not living your best life. Your response to the success of others is a mirror reflecting what’s not right in your life. Rather than immediately saying, “Wow, that’s great news. I’m happy for you.” You instead focus inward on what you’re not happy about. If you’re personally dissatisfied with your life, you have less to give to others.

TANK-full people, on the other hand, have plenty to give. They do four things consistently. They thank people when they deserve it. They ask others how they are doing. They notice people’s accomplishments. And they are consistently kind.

TANK-full people are a reliable source of support, inspiration and love. We cherish their presence in our lives, and most of us aspire to be like them. These special people have a lot to share because they feel that they already have so much.

You often measure your happiness by what you feel. When you focus on increasing your ability to thank people, ask others how they are doing, notice other people’s accomplishments, and show kindness to others, your happiness can be measured by what you do.

The field of positive psychology guides you to think about your life as an opportunity to do three things: Use your most natural strengths, engage in activities that hold great meaning for you and savor and enjoy your daily life as you live it. When you increase your ability to do these things every day, research demonstrates that you increase your happiness.

Gottfried Keller said, “We don’t remain good if we don’t always strive to become better.” When you commit every day to live your best possible life, you have more to give: You’re ready to nourish others with your support.

So, the next time you hear about someone’s good news you will be able to say, “Wow, that’s great! You should be excited!” Why? Your TANK is full.

David J. Pollay is the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com).” His book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out this Fall. Mr. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program and DVD, and an internationally sought after speaker. He is the founder and president of The Momentum Project, LLC (www.themomentumproject.com).

© 2008 David J. Pollay. Distributed by North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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