David J.

Pollay

Read David's bio and previous columns

June 23, 2008

Don’t Let Garbage Trucks Cloud Your Judgment

I recently ordered a cup of tea at Starbucks. After I paid, I walked over to the counter where the milk, sugar and napkins were kept. And as I made my way across the cafe, I saw a woman leaning against the counter waiting for someone. She saw me and stepped back so I could reach the milk.

She said, “Sorry about that.”

I smiled and said, “That’s OK. Standing there is a great way to meet people.”

She said, “Yeah . . . I should probably try that. It might help me find a job and an apartment.”

I looked up as I put the milk back.

She continued: “It’s so hard to meet people around here.”

“Really,” I said. “Why?”

“People are so rude here!” she said.

I responded with curiosity, “How long have you been here?”

“We moved down here yesterday,” she quickly said.

I then told her that I had lived in the area for five years, and that the people around here are actually very nice. In fact, they are as friendly as in any other part of the world where I have worked, studied or visited. And then I smiled and told her to make sure that she puts me in her “nice people” column! She laughed! I told her my name was David. She said hers was Jane. I wished her well, and we said goodbye.

I walked out of the cafe and I was struck by one thing that Jane said: “People are so rude here!” Jane jumped to a conclusion about more than a million people in less than 48 hours.

So, consider these questions. When Jane decided “people are so rude” around here, how large was her sample of people? And what was her attitude when she interacted with these people? What was she saying? What was she doing? And will her judgment of the people she met help her to make friends and get a good job, or will it limit her ability to connect with people?

In a paper published in The Journal of Career Assessment, “Does Happiness Promote Career Success?” Julia Boehm and Sonja Lyubomirsky, psychology researchers at the University of California at Riverside, wrote: “. . . prior research suggests that positive emotions are associated with approach-oriented behavior. That is, people in a good mood are more likely to enter novel situations, interact with other people and pursue new goals. Positive emotions also signal that life is good and that no threats are readily apparent.”

It’s possible that Jane had run into some difficult people in the very short time she had been here. But her problem is that she let these experiences with a few people shape her view of the world. The negative emotions she was feeling were limiting her ability to successfully connect with other people.

You know better. You don’t let Garbage Trucks cloud your judgment. You know The Law of the Garbage Truck™.  Here is an excerpt from my Law of the Garbage Truck™.  

“Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they do what garbage trucks do: They look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you.

So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.”

So, when you encounter Garbage Trucks in your life, let them pass by. Don’t take Garbage Trucks personally: Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. When you do, you free yourself to focus on what is important to you. And this is the best time for you to meet people.

David J. Pollay is the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com).” His book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out this Fall. Mr. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program and DVD, and an internationally sought after speaker. He is the founder and president of The Momentum Project, LLC (www.themomentumproject.com).

© 2008 David J. Pollay. Distributed by North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

Click here to talk to our writers and editors about this column and others in our discussion forum.

To e-mail feedback about this column, click here. If you enjoy this writer's work, please contact your local newspapers editors and ask them to carry it.

This is Column # DJP065. Request permission to publish here.