David J.
Pollay
Read David's bio and previous columns
January 21, 2008
Don’t Let the Peanuts Run Your Life
I love peanuts. I like them salted or unsalted. I like them
sweet or savory. You can put them in my dinner or in my dessert. I
never met a peanut I didn’t like. It is a joy to eat peanuts!
It’s also a challenge to eat peanuts. Peanuts pack a caloric
punch. Too many peanuts per day and you have to loosen your belt. One
day I decided to reduce my peanut intake. I resolved not to eat peanuts
after dinner, or for a late night snack.
So the next night I had dinner. And sure enough, I had a
thought to eat some peanuts. But I reminded myself that I had decided
not to eat peanuts. So I did not eat peanuts.
And then it happened. An hour later I was standing in my
kitchen with salt on my lips, peanuts in my mouth, and another load
ready to go. But I did not remember opening the cabinet, reaching down
to the bottom shelf, grabbing the peanut jar – OK, the peanut tub – and
putting a handful of delicious peanuts in my mouth. It was only after I
stuck my hand in the tub of peanuts a second time I thought, “Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! How did this happen? How did I end up here?”
Psychology researcher Jonathan Haidt of the University of
Virginia explains this phenomenon with a metaphor he calls the “Rider
and the Elephant.” In his book “The Happiness Hypothesis”, and in
his earlier research papers, Haidt described how the rider is our
conscious mind, and the elephant is our unconscious mind. We are
constantly trying to guide our body and thoughts in the direction we
want them to go. The challenge is, as Haidt’s metaphor illustrates, when
an elephant is determined to go somewhere, it will, rider in tow.
Now take my peanut example to another level. What if you want
to change something important in your life? If you decide that you are
going to do something differently, but you are not aware of what is
happening below the surface, in your unconscious, how will you succeed?
The answer is you won’t.
Haidt warns, “The rider can’t just decide to change and then
order the elephant to go along with the program. Lasting change can come
only by retraining the elephant, and that’s hard to do.” The key to
achieving new and important things in your life is to find out what is
unconsciously limiting you and then replace it with a belief that will
enable your success.
Your most potent levers of sustainable change are your
beliefs. Uncover your beliefs and you will find out why you do what you
do. You will learn more about your elephant.
So here’s one approach to drawing out your beliefs. Start by
identifying an important and big goal in your life and how soon you
would like to reach it. Make sure this goal would change your life
dramatically if you achieved it.
Now grab a pen and answer these questions. What will I gain
if I achieve my goal? What will I have to do to accomplish my goal? What
will I have to give up to reach my goal? What will happen if I fail to
meet my goal?
Start each of your answers with “I believe I . . .” to help
elicit your beliefs. Now look at your answers. These are some of the
beliefs you hold relative to your goal. The question, then, is which of
these beliefs will help you achieve your goal and which ones will hold
you back. Your success in life depends on your ability to uncover and
change your limiting beliefs to those that will fire you up and bring
out your greatness.
Don’t let the peanuts run your life.
© 2008
David J. Pollay. Distributed by North Star Writers Group. May not be
republished without permission.
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