Candace
Talmadge
Read Candace's bio and previous columns
January 21, 2008
Hillary Clinton as
Alfalfa? Take Your Vitamins Before You Vote
Amazing. A marketing consultant firm based in Connecticut claims that
its possible to predict political party affiliation by whether or not a
person uses vitamin or mineral supplements.
In
an early January national poll sponsored by TABS Group, 50 percent of
registered Republicans claimed to purchase at least three types of
supplements compared with only 43 percent of registered Democrats. The
survey of 1,000 nationally representative households and 690 likely
voters found that GOP members are twice as prone to be heavy supplement
users (8 percent for Republicans vs. 4 percent of Democrats).
Among likely Republican primary voters, non-users of supplements tended
to favor more socially conservative candidates like Mike Huckabee (22
percent) and Fred Thompson (15 percent). Among regular vitamin users,
however, support for these two presidential wannabes was lower 16
percent for Huckabee and 10 percent for Thompson.
Among likely Democratic primary voters, regular supplement users
preferred Hillary Clinton to non-users by 44 percent to 40 percent.
Barack Obama and John Edwards, however, showed a slight edge among
non-users, 25 percent vs. 23 percent for the former and 14 percent vs.
10 percent for the latter.
The stereotype of the typical user being a hippie, earthy type just
does not hold, as heavy category users skewed significantly more
Republican than Democrat, said Kurt Jetta, TABS Group president.
The preceding inspired me a lifelong Democrat and extensive vitamin
and supplement user to search my shelves for nutritional substances
that might share certain qualities with this years presidential
hopefuls.
Hillary Clinton is the huge alfalfa tablet. Shes simply one tough pill
to swallow.
John Edwards, a former personal injury trial attorney, can only be
Niacin (Vitamin B-3), great for flushing out those corporate arteries
clogged with cash.
Rudy Giuliani equates to Vitamin C in the form of ascorbic acid. An
overdose often leads to a bad case of the runs.
Would-be theocrat Mike Huckabee is most definitely an olive leaf,
boosting immunity to reasoned thought in all who swallow wholesale his
extreme religious positions.
Hapless Dennis Kucinich suffers the fate of Vitamin A. This vitamin is
actually most responsible for healthy skin and other connective tissues,
but a different vitamin (E) usually gets the credit.
Iraq war apologist John McCain and iron pair nicely essential for
strength yet too much of either produces that mired-down, stuck
sensation.
Barack Obama and panax ginseng have a lot in common. Both are good for
energizing and revitalizing the former the electorate and the latter
the body, but neither is for the faint-hearted.
Ron Paul has to be a calcium supplement nothing but bare bones
government for this Libertarian in Republican drag.
Mitt Romney is similar to beta carotene, which is one substance outside
the body, but flip-flops to another once ingested.
And for running a snooze of a campaign now trailing off into an endless
goodnight, Fred Thompson has to be melatonin, the sleep supplement.
As
with all vitamins and other nutritional supplements, ignore the hype and
use caution and moderation when evaluating the actual effectiveness of
any presidential candidate.
© 2008
North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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