Cindy

Droog

Read Cindy's bio and previous columns

November 17, 2008

Advertising Messages Are Everywhere, But They Don’t Stick Like Glue

So you’ve paid a million bucks to have your logo emblazoned across the soccer team’s jerseys. As fans watch their team’s top scorers approach the goal, they’re reading “Great Glue” and you just know when they hit the hardware store, they’re going to choose you.

The only problem is that your competitor, Superb Stick, has been doing product placement and sponsorship of Disney’s traveling show that includes Handy Manny. Moms and dads with little fans of Stretch the Measuring Tape and Squeeze the Pliers are seeing Superb Stick at the same time their kids are having the times of their lives.

Perhaps that was a brilliant move, but not as brilliant as Perfect Paste’s when they scored all three of the old Taylor kids from Home Improvement as their spokesmen, and now the one who played Mark is blogging, the cute middle child is making appearances at stores across North America, and the oldest one, Brad, is doing a satellite media tour about their new formula.

And finally, there’s Awesome Adhesive. They’re a new competitor, but they have donated a few million dollars and a lifetime supply of product to areas devastated by natural disasters, and are focused on lobbying for stricter environmental regulations because their formula already fits the bill.

And then there’s me. The working mom customer.

I watched that soccer game on television, but I was rooting against the Great Glue team. I refused to take my child to the Disney on Ice show, because I’m on a personal rampage against anything that doesn’t allow him to express his own creativity, using his own imagination, not the people from Pixar’s.

I hit Mark’s Perfect Paste blog when I was looking for a way to solve some of my bathroom tile issues, but I got pulled into a meeting (after all, I was at work while doing this) and then had to reply to some e-mails, so I completely forgot about him.

Then, I think I heard about Awesome Adhesive’s efforts on NPR, but if I don’t listen to a happy song that I can sing to on my way home from work, then I can’t make my much-needed transition from work mode to home mode, so I quickly changed the channel.

Later that night, I went to my locally owned hardware store. I grabbed the first strong glue I could find. I didn’t read the label until I got home. The brand? Cemeant-to-be.

It worked. I’m happy. I can check something off my to-do list and sleep a little better tonight. As for those millions of dollars spent by Great Glue, Superb Stick, Perfect Paste and Awesome Adhesive?

I guess their messages simply didn’t stick, and with the exception of helping families who need new homes, most of their money got flushed down the toilet.

Which reminds me: I need to pick up some plungers tomorrow. One, a real one, to fix our downstairs bathroom. The second one, imaginary, just to try and clear my mind of all the crap that advertisers are throwing at me.

© 2008 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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