Cindy
Droog
Read Cindy's bio and previous columns
March 3, 2008
Arm-Wrestling: The Future of Corporate Decision Making
When my brother and I
were kids, many arguments were settled in the simplest of ways. During
the early years, a game of “eenie meenie miney moe” would do. As the
oldest, of course, I knew how to manipulate that game and therefore,
nearly always got to lick the cookie-dough-filled mixer while he got
stuck with the splintery wooden spoon.
Later, my mom taught us
to play Rock/Scissors/Paper. And since you can’t really cheat at that
game, I’d say it was a pretty fair, 50-50 chance of who’d get to ride in
the front seat to Grandma’s house.
Finally, just before I
left for college, we’d started to arm-wrestle to decide who had to walk
the dog in the middle of a freezing February, or who had to go to the
recycling center with Dad and lift hundreds of pounds of newspapers
wrapped in twine.
These games led to
myriad disappointments, and in the case of those newspapers, a lot of
sore muscles. But also an equal number of victories – like the time I
got to paint my chosen name on the front door of our backyard tree
house. My parents don’t live there anymore, but I’ve often wondered if
“Secret Squirrel Society” is still graffitied in hot pink on that door.
Now that I’m an adult,
I long for the time when decisions could be made in the manner of a few
minutes.
Instead, we’re looking
at about 10 weeks. In my years spent in corporate America, I figure that
is the average of how long it typically takes a few minor changes in the
organizational chart – such as a new vice president – to actually boil
down to a few real decisions.
One of them is usually,
“Who is responsible for Project X?” Project X involves a lot of people.
A lot of money. If done properly, a lot of positive exposure. If done
poorly, a lot of money thrown in a toilet and flushed down, spiraling
toward Ratville.
Of course, the sales
department should be in charge of Project X. They know our customers
best because they talk to them face-to-face, or at minimum,
phone-to-phone. But what about marketing? Project X was their idea, and
they’ve been running it. We’re not sure what the results have been, but
believe you me, the success stories are in the works.
Still, you’ve forgotten
about IT and communications. Project X involves a lot of writing, web
community building and purchase of precious advertising space.
So, instead of a good
old-fashioned, best-two-out-of-three wins contest, marketing does a
slide show on Project X. Communications writes a 10-page report on the
failure of marketing to execute the projects that preceded Project X.
Sales gathers up some research to remind us that the customers will only
buy into Project X if Sales is handling it, and IT makes a giant
spreadsheet explaining why Project X can’t be given any of its resources
unless it’s the IT department’s top priority. Which it will only be if
they are in charge of it.
Ten weeks, thousands of
hours, a few dead trees and lots of bored Power Point watchers later,
the decision still isn’t made.
Now that my brother and
I are adults, our decision-making methods are not as juvenile, but are
almost as speedy. Who’s going to host Mom and Dad’s anniversary party?
Let’s do this five-minute phone call to figure it out. Who should help
clean their basement? Oooh. That’s a tough one. Let’s decide over a
glass of wine. Twenty minutes later, I’m reminded it’s my turn, because
last month he helped fix their car.
Obviously, companies
should invest in some decision-making materials. Perhaps a nice, long
piece of rope for a game of tug of war? Or maybe, some shiny new
quarters so somebody can just call “heads.”
And of course, there’s
always the good old arm-wrestling match. Just be sure to schedule the
big conference room. Everybody’s going to want to watch this one!
© 2008 North Star Writers
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