Cindy

Droog

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November 5, 2007

For the Pregnant Working Mom, These T-Shirts Have It Covered

Come the end of this month, I’ll have had two babies in the last two years. According to my friends with older children, I was right on time for the maternity fashion revolution. I haven’t had to suffer wearing anything that resembled a muumuu. I’ve managed to escape the obnoxiously telling bows and ruffles of yonder years, and even the jeans I wear don’t have a stretching panel that comes up to my neck.  

So, I thank you, Liz Lange of Target, and Motherhood Maternity, for your recent inspirations that have allowed me to avoid feeling as though I’d thrown a potato sack over myself to come to work.  

But still, there is something missing in the modern working girl’s maternity wardrobe. That “something” is the trend that companies like Hollister and Abercrombie have capitalized on. That of making t-shirts for those who really, truly have a statement to make. For example, “Brunettes do it better” or my personal favorite, “Awkward Mornings Beat Boring Nights.” 

Since those are so appropriate for the teenagers who are wearing them, I figure why not start a line of pregnancy t-shirts equally appropriate for working moms? We can bring casual Friday to an entirely new level.  

The first t-shirt in my line, sold specifically to women who are seven-plus months along, will say: “Yes, I’m still here. But what are you doing here? Didn’t you get that memo?”  

Of course, this is my comeback to the daily (or at this point, six to seven times daily) comment of “You’re still here?” which implies, “You are huge! You can’t walk from meeting to meeting, so no matter what your doctor says, get thee to the hospital, oh giantess!”  

Once sales of that t-shirt has taken off, which I’m sure it will, I’ve got a few other ideas as well: 

§          “Sure, but then I get to touch something on you. With my foot!”

§          “I’m big, but in a few months I’ll be skinny again! You, however . . .” 

I’ll also need a not-so-subtle t-shirt in response to those who are in denial that in the next few weeks, I won’t be around. Those coworkers who – despite my best efforts via e-mail, memos and meeting discussions about why I’m not taking on any new projects – insist on assigning me to things that need to be wrapped up between my estimated delivery date and my return from maternity leave.  

Fortunately, there aren’t too many of them where I work, but it would still be fun to sport a bright pink tee that says “No New Projects!” for awhile. After all, there’s no other time in life when a working person could get away with that one.  

In the meantime, I’ll be taking ideas from other working preggos for shirts in response to the following coworkers’ comments that I’ve yet to figure out the cleverest answers for:  

§          “You look a lot bigger this time than last.” (Umm, thanks?)

§          “Are you going to have another one after this one?” (Are you channeling my mother right now?)

§          “You’re ready to pop!” (Nah. I just ate a huge steak for lunch!)

§          “Can’t you just work late tonight – or Saturday or Sunday – to get this project done?” (Sure. I’ve got three weeks to go, but I don’t need rest. While I’m at it, let me come over and clean your house, OK?)

I’m also in the process of inventing a wearable calendar of sorts, a little like the one your parents had that counted down the number of days until Christmas. Each day, my brother and I would lift the little flap to remind us that there were only 10 days left, and that soon, partridges in pear trees would surely be ours.

My wearable calendar will be like one of those clingy bumper stickers that you can transfer from shirt to shirt. It will provide the countdown to your due date, so that coworkers simply don’t have to ask.

Right now, mine says 22 days to go. Which also means 22 days – or maybe a few more – before I’ll be starting my new t-shirt company. After all, “No new projects” certainly doesn’t apply to brilliant ideas I can accomplish on my own time, right?  

© 2007 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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