Lucia

de Vernai

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November 12, 2007

You Can Swear By It: Hugo Chavez is a Joke

We’re a spoiled nation, really. Hearing our politicians swear is common. Dick Cheney’s f-bomb. Even the Mormons curse on Capitol Hill, as Utah senator Orrin Hatch demonstrated earlier this year by telling a joke about “God’s s—t list.” As a result, it is easy to forget that constituents around the world are not quite as fortunate.

This weekend, a new smack talk leader emerged – Spanish King Juan Carlos I. Usually portrayed wearing a sash with his shoulders back, this week newspapers across Europe delighted in printing a shot of the monarch leaning forward, arms outstretched in an outrage. The caption?

“Just shut up!”

Addressed at Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, these words expressed what leaders of Western free-market democracies have been thinking since Chavez self-appointed himself to lead a crusade against capitalism.

To be fair, the man has some reason to be bitter – getting kidnapped at gunpoint and “resigning” are not quite the same, but calling the former Spanish Prime Minister a “fascist” is not going to make things better. Just like calling the leader of the free world the devil didn’t do much for your career.

The Spanish king erupted during a speech Chavez was giving at the Ibero-American summit organized to strengthen ties among Spanish and Portuguese speaking countries. As Chavez continued his tirade, despite the King’s interruption, the monarch stormed out of the room. And we thought that their soaps were melodramatic.

Nevertheless, there may be a few lessons all politicians can take from all this. The king’s outburst shows that everyone has a boiling point. Even the leaders, the governments, the political cultures that seem cool, collected and even detached, are not indifferent. Revolutionaries like Chavez, when ignored, become bolder, mistaking composure for cowardice.

Chavez’s showman tactics are bound to backfire, because unlike the outrageous gimmicks of some politicians – quail hunting gone wrong, calling the pope “sir” – they hold weight in the political sphere.   

Although it goes against all columnists’ professional ethics, it has to be said: Sometimes unsolicited advice is just stupid to give. As much as I have faith that Hugo Chavez knows how to restructure the world economy, end indigenous oppression and still make it home for dinner, first things first. Doesn’t he have some schools to build, guerillas to fight and a few (thousand) push-ups to do?

Perhaps we should be grateful that he did not take his shoe off and start banging it on the conference table. Or that they made him check his pet rifle in at the door. But what Chavez’s behavior this weekend should teach politicians is that, seen from a distance, it is all ridiculous.

After reading about the incident, no one was suddenly convinced that the Spanish prime minister was, in fact, a fascist or thought, “Man, that Chavez guy is pretty tough . . . maybe I should become a socialist.”

The king’s choice to defend his government was an appropriate one, and given the setting, fighting insult with insult was warranted. From now on, however, world leaders should disarm Chavez by treating him like the joke he is.

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