David
Pollay
Read David's bio and previous columns
December 3, 2007
Appreciate Your Loved
Ones With a Gratitude Chain
The second in a
three-part series on building gratitude in your life.
Last week I told you
that when you increase your gratitude in life, you become happier and
more successful. And I shared with you that one way to amplify your
gratitude is to build Gratitude Chains™.
You cultivate three
things in the process of building a Gratitude Chain™: 1) Awareness of
what and for whom you are grateful; 2) Curiosity about what they do that
makes you grateful, or what makes something you value possible; and 3)
Memory of what is good about these individuals or things by engaging in
gratitude practices. And when you link together your Gratitude Chains™,
you experience a powerful appreciation of the important people and
things in your life.
So let’s look at a
Gratitude Chain™ applied to your personal life. You can start with your
spouse, your boyfriend or girlfriend, or a friend. If you do not fully
appreciate what they do and how they do it every day, step into their
world. Here’s an example of a Gratitude Chain™ I created for my wife
Dawn.
Step 1: Cultivate
Awareness.
My wife Dawn drives our daughters, Eliana (5) and Ariela (4), 30-40
minutes each way to school, Monday through Friday. She often has to make
two round-trips because the girls get out of school at different times.
My girls receive the education we want for them because Dawn makes the
drive every day. I did not truly experience gratitude for what she does
until I made the trip a number of times myself. I became aware.
I also did not fully
understand the demands of a mother’s role until I spent entire days,
morning until bedtime, with the girls. My gratitude increased when I
realized how much love, patience, and stamina Dawn shows every day. In
fact, I have an appreciation for all moms. I became aware.
Step 2: Cultivate
Curiosity.
I asked Dawn how she manages every morning to bathe, dress, feed, brush
hair, put on sunscreen, make lunches, fill backpacks and put on shoes
for the girls so quickly. I wanted to know her secret (because
truthfully, it takes me twice as long to do the same thing). I asked
about her system for accomplishing everything. I learned the steps, but
more importantly, I learned how much love, care and thought Dawn puts
into each day with the girls. I became curious.
Step 3: Cultivate
Memory.
Every morning when I wake up I start my day by reciting everything I am
grateful for, and Dawn is at the top of my list. My morning gratitude
ritual helps me keep fresh in my mind all that Dawn does for our family
each day.
And I look for
opportunities to recognize Dawn, big and small. One of my practices is
to write her a note each day. My notes congratulate or thank her. And
they always say that I love her. I commit my gratitude to memory by
practicing gratitude everyday. I remember.
Link Your Gratitude
Chains™ Together.
Gratitude Chains™ help
to embed in your subconscious positive thoughts and feelings about who
and what you care about – they keep your mind focused on recognizing
everyone and everything important to you. And the more Gratitude Chains™
you have, the more you have the opportunity to influence your happiness.
What if you created a
Gratitude Chain™ every week? Could you imagine?! You would have at least
52 people or things in your life that would make you feel grateful.
David J.
Pollay
is a syndicated columnist with North
Star Writers Group, creator and host of “The Happiness Answer™”
television program, an internationally sought-after speaker and seminar
leader, and the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the
Garbage Truck™.” Mr. Pollay is the founder and president
of TheMomentumProject.com, a strengths-based training and consulting
organization with offices in Delray Beach, Florida and Washington D.C.
Mr. Pollay is also the associate executive director of the International
Positive Psychology Association (IPPA). Email him at
david@themomentumproject.com.
© 2007
David J. Pollay. Distributed by North Star Writers Group. May not be
republished without permission.
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