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October 8, 2008
Roast Those Jalapenos, and Start Bellowing
There is something primitive within us all that is attracted to roasted
foods. It is partly based on the method, which carries with it all the
subtlety of a 21-howitzer salute.
is this – you create a massive amount of heat, preferably direct fire,
and apply that directly to the food.
Then, if you are holding true to your caveman forefathers, you eat with
your bare hands and bellow into the night.
you are roasting jalapeno peppers, on the other hand, this route is not
advised since the oils that make the peppers hot can be as easily
transferred to your fingers and then to other body parts as it is
transferred to your tongue and mouth by eating one.
may, if you wish, roast them in much the same way as your caveman
forefathers did, by building a massive fire – perhaps even one visible
from space – and cooking the peppers directly. If you do not have a
fireplace or someplace outside specifically designed for this, you may
wish to avoid it and seek an alternate route.
method will depend on what kind of stove you have, and we will simply
skip ahead to running jalapeno peppers that have blackened, blistered
skins under cold water and removing the seeds from inside. To do this,
you should wear gloves, or a casual wipe of the eye will send you into
pain the memory of which may fade over time but will never totally
disappear. You will forever be a scarred human being.
skinned and seeded, you will need to do something with the peppers. If
it is cold outside, you will perhaps consider soup, which in some places
is studied as if it were its own religion.
skillet, sauté some bite-sized pieces of chicken with garlic and chopped
onion until softened and browned. Toss with the roasted jalapeno, which
you should chop up.
pot, warm some chicken stock and add some corn kernels. Frozen, canned
or cut right from the cob, it makes no difference. What you will want
are corn kernels in just enough chicken stock that each kernel violates
the personal space of the kernels all around it. This may cause some
irritation at first among individual kernels, but you cannot worry
yourself at this point about the personal aspirations of individual corn
kernels. If they didn’t wish to give themselves over to the collective,
they shouldn’t have so readily joined their fellows on cobs out in the
until the corn is hot, and then puree it into a fine mush. If it is too
watery, cook it down.
the chicken, onion and peppers and stir to blend flavors. Add some
chopped cilantro and salt and pepper to taste. The final step is to add
some shredded cheddar cheese and stir until it is melted and smooth.
Ladle into bowls, eat and – in the very finest traditions of your
caveman forefathers – bellow into the night.
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