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June 11, 2008
De-Segregation Is the Law
There is a school of
thought when it comes to food that it will all mix in the digestive
tract, so distinctions are irrelevant from the get-go. This approach has
indeed inspired some of the greats, like beef stew and ice cream cake,
and there are some who hypothesize that the great Earl of Sandwich, who
lives on chiefly during lunch, subscribed to this.
penetration is least noticeable at the breakfast table, where
segregation of food items remains the rule.
Why this is remains a
mystery, because many of those things most commonly eaten at breakfast
have a natural affinity for one another.
We speak specifically
about eggs and breakfast meat, and also cheese and some kind of
breadstuff. Many people agree that these are the elements critical to a
healthy breakfast, yet they are most commonly served as individual
elements (unless stacked together in a morning insult to our friend the
Earl as the bagelwich).
Turn to something like
the prepackaged crescent roll. They are the kind that comes in
perforated sheets and in tubes. They are pitched by something that
titters when poked in the stomach.
There are six of them
when laid out flat and torn apart at the seams. Do so, and leave aside
on a cookie sheet. They are a triangle shape, but are malleable enough
that you would be warned not to test the hypothesis that triangle angles
always add up to 360 degrees.
Now comes the filling
three eggs, a handful of cooked breakfast meat, some cheddar cheese (for
reasons known to no one living, mild cheddar is the cheese that best
complements morning), and whatever vegetables sound good onion, green
onion and mushrooms rise to mind.
Scramble the egg, which
is to say stir it over heat until firm, not call it out to intercept
unknown intruders in your airspace. Once done, add the other
Turn your attention to
your prefabricated triangles. Lay three of them out, and scoop one-third
of your egg and meat mix onto each of them. Lay over those the three
remaining triangles. You are lucky, because the same malleability that
would render you insane if you tried measuring angles allows this with
little difficulty (if it creates big difficulties, consider giving up
cooking and acquainting yourself with the delivery menu of a good
If you bothered to read
the instructions on the prefab triangle package, you will perhaps
remember that the oven should be preheated to 350 degrees. If not,
preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
Once this is so, slide
your crescent pockets into the oven and cook for about 20 minutes.
Remove from oven and let
cool for about 10 minutes. You will perhaps notice that the crust
attempts to break as if in a commercial. The prefab triangle was hoping
to be a crescent and torn apart as in the commercial. It has served
another purpose, and allowed diverse schools of thought to be
represented at the breakfast table.
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