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January 30, 2008

Deviled Eggs: Do the Prince of Darkness Proud


Anyone who’s ever been on a picnic or had a meal involving a buffet is familiar with the deviled egg. Mashed up yolk and mayonnaise and mustard, and perhaps a touch of horseradish, placed into the hollowed-out section of a hard boiled egg and dusted with paprika.


A body’s cholesterol count begins to tick upward just thinking about it.


Yet, one can’t help but wonder how this involves devils and whether Lucifer himself sold naming rights at some point. One also can’t help but wonder whether the pronunciation has been warped over the years, and that this brand of buffet food should actually be de-viled eggs, alluding to the very real potential that the original chef disliked the chalky texture of egg yolk unmixed with mayo and mustard.


Let us move past that and into an effort to make the name precise. Let us dance with Mephistopheles.


We shall assume the boiled egg. If you cannot reach this point without how-to directions, it would be wise for you to avoid going further. One imagines that you cannot lose your immortal soul through a mere culinary act, but most would agree that the stakes are a little too high to take the risk.


We shall also assume that the egg has been cooled, cut in half and the yolks removed.


Place your yolks in a bowl with some Dijon mustard, ground black pepper and a little touch of Satan.


For each pair of eggs, add a nice rounded spoon of goat cheese. Perhaps the connection needs a bit of fleshing out, since it’s difficult to know what mere cheese has to do with The Prince of Darkness.


The goat’s ties to the Foul Deceiver are well known. This also involves, by extension, goat products. Is goat cheese the most corrupted of foods? The question has not plagued theologians as have others, but the answer is that it just might be.


Mash them all together with a fork until they form a soft consistency. If the goat cheese wasn’t allowed to warm somewhat before you started, you may start to think that you’ve been cursed by Old Scratch himself, for it will require some effort to get your fork through it.


Once mashed together, throw into the bowl some finely chopped green olive stuffed with pimento. Once fully incorporated, the pimento will give the goat cheese and egg yolk mixture little flecks of red. You can also consider adding some chopped green onion, which will provide some bright color enhancement, and also a bit of onion-y sweetness.


You are left with one – the empty egg white shells – and one – the yolk mixture. Here, we do some addition that would make the Odious Spreader of Lies proud.


Spoon the yolk and goat cheese into the hollow egg white shells. One plus one equals one – the deviled egg. Everything your parents and your elementary school teachers taught is laid out before you as untruth. The revelation will cause the weak to question their own sanity.


© 2008 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.


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