Party’s A Lemon!
throw a party in your kitchen.
The key to
throwing a successful party is knowing how to keep the guests
entertained and conversation flowing. We keep that fundamental truth in
mind and honor it.
step is inviting the right guests, people you expect will find each
other’s company both charming and delightful. For our party, we first
invite the simple lemon.
“ahhh, will we be ade-ing something?” No, nothing will be ade-ed. But,
all the same, you will want the juice.
lemons in half and squeeze the juice from them. Squeeze and squeeze and
squeeze again, until you feel like the bones in your hand might break
(alternately, you may use a juicing device of some kind). Remove the
pits and discard – as shells containing embryonic trees, they are too
young for this party.
just juice a lemon and discard the husk is wasteful, a sign of
disrespect not only to the lemon, but the tree that once bore it. You
are already committing a great sin by discarding the seeds – any lemon
tree that springs to life will do so either in your local landfill or
How to more
thoroughly use the lemon, and show basic respect for life? The mind
locks onto the pulp. The answer, we assure ourselves, is in the pulp.
this thought. If you were after the pulp, you wouldn’t have squeezed out
the juice. The pulp functions as nothing more than a handy container in
which the juice is stored. If you have an alternate use for the pulp, by
all means employ it. But, the pulp is not welcome at this party.
the small holes of your grater to the skin and rub it off. Like any sane
creature, the lemon doesn’t part easily with its skin, but you must
grate nonetheless, even at risk of hurting our friend the lemon.
grated down to white, look at what lies on the plate. It lies there,
yellow-ish and wet.
have accomplished something. You have just now created zest.
Congratulate yourself … a pat on the back wouldn’t be out of order here.
You may now discard the dejuiced and dezested lemon husks.
zest and gently sauté it in olive oil with garlic. This foundation not
only packs a powerful flavor punch, but it might make your house smell
springtime clean. There are some who argue that this is a good
short-term remedy of the winter blahs. They would be right. Exalt in
garlic and zest meet and get to know each other, it is time for an
introduction – pine nuts and an oven preheated to 350 degrees. You are
now the hostess of a party, with one pair of guests engaged in a
conversation that will last the entire night, and one pair that will
talk only for a short time.
nuts should stay in the oven for only a short time, until they are
toasted (it is usually appropriate to end a conversation when one of the
participants is toasted). It will happen in about five or six minutes,
and the heat will bring out a decidedly nutty flavor.
your attention to the conversation on your burner. It is in danger of
turning stale, and the lemon zest and garlic are fumbling about for a
new topic. Add your lemon juice, half a cup of either milk or heavy
cream and parsley.
and stir some more. The conversation has now turned to a tricky topic,
and could wind up offending your dairy product to the point where it
will curdle and turn surly. You, as hostess, must continue to stir the
conversation to keep it light and lively. At some point, you will notice
that the sauce begins to get thicker. Good, good. This is what you want,
a sauce that will coat pasta, not pool at the bottom of your bowl.
Once it has
achieved appropriate viscosity (not runny, but also not a rock-hard
solid), you now introduce the toasted pine nuts, turn off the heat and
allow all them to mingle while you cook the pasta. All will be highly
amused by this turn of events, and will declare the party you’ve thrown
to be a social highlight of the year.
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