Read Paul's bio and previous columns
January 21, 2008
from Mike Huckabee
few weeks ago, a student asked Mike Huckabee: “Recent polls show you
surging . . . What do you attribute this surge to?”
Without even needing to stop and think of an answer, Huckabee responded:
“There's only one explanation for it, and it's not a human one. It's the
same power that helped a little boy with two fish and five loaves feed a
crowd of 5,000 people . . . And it defies all explanation, it has
confounded the pundits. And I'm enjoying every minute of them trying to
figure it out, and until they look at it, from a, just experience beyond
human, they'll never figure it out . . . That's honestly why it's
So, not only has Huckabee claimed to be the carrier of God’s banner on
Earth, but also that God has officially endorsed him. Word also has it
that Saint Peter has momentarily stepped away from Heaven’s gates to put
up “Vote Huckabee” signs in Heaven’s front yard.
Wow, Mike. So is Jesus multiplying your push-polls too?
The last few weeks of the Republican primary campaign have seen at least
a million mysterious, pro-Huckabee push-poll calls made to the homes of
voters in states with approaching election days, such as South Carolina.
Push-polling is an effort involving calling voters under the guise of
conducting a poll to measure support for the various candidates. But
when a voter identifies his candidate of choice, the automated caller
will systematically seek to discredit that candidate with half-truths
and distortions, while enhancing the record of another candidate (the
one supported by whoever is sponsoring the push-polling).
The Huckabee campaign, of course, has denied involvement in the
apparently multi-state effort to promote his candidacy in the nastiest
way possible. But the campaign has stopped short of taking effective
steps to stop the often illegal efforts.
So, I, a deeply religious Christian who is disturbed by both Huckabee’s
alarming claim to the Christian banner and the push-polling sponsored by
his backers, decided to design a fact-based, truthful push-polling
script targeted at Christian voters supporting Huckabee:
Hello, we are conducting a poll to measure the support for the
Republican presidential candidates. Who do you intend to vote for?
Do you believe that a Christian candidate should be honest, trustworthy
and sincere in order to get your vote?
Did you know . . .
That Mike Huckabee claims to be the first ever governor of Arkansas to
cut taxes, and to have done so 94 times, even though according to his
definition of “tax cut,” every Arkansas governor in the past 60 years
has cut taxes?
That Mike Huckabee insists that he reduced taxes as governor of
Arkansas, even though the average Arkansan’s tax burden grew from $1,969
to $2,902, or 47 percent, during his administration?
That Mike Huckabee’s website says “I . . . flatly reject the notion of a
‘living Constitution,’” and that only last week, he said that the
Constitution is a “living, breathing document?”
That Mike Huckabee claims credit for balanced budgets in Arkansas, even
though there is an Arkansas law that requires every governor to deliver
a balanced budget?
That Mike Huckabee has repeatedly said that 80 percent of Arkansans
voted for his higher gas taxes, even though he signed the gas tax
increase before the referendum on highway repairs he refers to?
That Mike Huckabee maintains his opposition to amnesty, sanctuaries and
jobs for illegal immigrants, even though he continues to defend his
decision to give illegals the same in-state tuition that is denied to
Americans from 49 states?
That Mike Huckabee claims to have supported the troop surge early on,
even though in late January 2007 he was still being quoted as not being
in support of it?
That Mike Huckabee’s ads say that he brought crime down in Arkansas,
even though violent crime was higher at the end of his tenure than it
was when he took office?
That Mike Huckabee says he is “staunchly” opposed to taxing the
Internet, even though he has tried to prevent Congress from making the
Internet tax moratorium permanent?
That despite pulling a campaign ad at the last minute because it
supposedly portrayed one of his opponents negatively, Mike Huckabee
nevertheless showed the ad to the media, which transmitted the ad’s
content to voters for free?
That as the Florida primary approaches, Mike Huckabee now vows to keep
Cuba isolated, despite having advocated the lifting of trade sanctions
on Cuba not too long ago as governor of Arkansas?
That despite his words in support of faith and strong families, Mike
Huckabee opposes school choice, which would allow families to spend
their money on tuition at parochial schools, favoring instead the
forcing of families to pay tuition for public schools through taxes?
Did you know that if, theoretically, a columnist was trying to list Mike
Huckabee’s distortions, half-truths, and quarter-truths, he would at
some point reach a word limit that would let Mike Huckabee off the hook
in so many ways that it just might make you cry?
And if you did not know any of these facts, would you, or God, still
consider Mike Huckabee honest, trustworthy and sincere?
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