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January 2, 2008

Tila Tequila Inspires Some Adventure in this 34-Year-Old Mom 

By Cindy Droog

What to do? With two kids and no babysitter, my husband and I had to make a tough call about which New Years’ Eve television special to watch.


Ryan Seacrest was taking over for Dick Clark, and although we are American Idol fans, we don’t find Seacrest’s back-and-forth banter with Simon Cowell even mildly entertaining. In fact, we’re pretty sure it borders on flirting.


Watching Seacrest ring in 2008 seemed like a form of mild torture. Not quite waterboarding, but perhaps getting a fingernail plucked out. Of course, Carson Daly and Anderson Cooper were options, too, but we wanted to be awake to kiss each other at midnight, and they weren’t going to cut it for a couple of sleep-deprived new parents.


Our other option was MTV’s New Years’ Eve starring Tila Tequila, the bisexual reality dating show star. Normally, we don’t keep tabs on MTV celebs, but having a newborn has given us quite a few middle-of-the-night television escapades.


I will confess that we chose Tila because of me. I have a newfound – and very embarrassing, I might add – addiction to her.


I can’t tell you why. I’m a 34-year-old mom and a corporate executive. Tila and I have absolutely nothing in common. She’s modeled for Playboy. I had a hard time looking decent for our family picture with Santa. She’s extremely popular on MySpace with two million friends. I have about 28 friends on Facebook. She’s bisexual and a bit of a swinger. I’ve had nothing but serial long-term relationships – all with men.


You get the picture.  


Like all addictions, mine for Tila started innocently. It was 3 a.m., and my newborn was in that phase somewhere between fast asleep and screaming his lungs out. I needed something to keep me awake, and while flipping channels, I ran across a rerun of Tila conducting her weekly elimination ceremony of one of the men or women (yes, there were both) vying for her affection.


She is a beautiful woman, and I found her to be very sweet. Then, the cameras panned to the show’s contestants, and since I’d apparently been living under a rock up to that point, I was shocked to find both men and women in the line-up.


I’ve never had a friend who was openly bisexual, and so I was intrigued by her. But mostly, I found her to be a genuine person who I could picture doing some of the things I’ve done in life. Like adopting a kitten that had been beaten and found – soaked in oil – under my car. Or spending hours searching an entire downtown area for a small stuffed animal lost by a little girl I had just met.


I believe Tila would do those things, too. So I can’t help thinking maybe I should do some things she does. But let’s be clear. I’m talking about things, not people. For example, she’s not afraid to flaunt what she has. Sure, this was easier to do when I was 26, too. But I still have a few decent physical qualities, and it couldn’t hurt to stop hiding them under baggy black clothes.


Tila also loves to dance, and I can tell it makes her happy. Of course, she did give a lap-dance to one of her show contestant’s grandmothers. And she performed a stripper-style pole dance (is there any other kind?) for a group of firefighters. My husband would not likely approve of my doing either of those things, but he might enjoy a private viewing.


The list goes on. I could get a haircut like Tila’s. I could wear higher heels. I could get a little more hip to pop culture before my sons become teenagers and everything they say sounds like a foreign language.


Of course, I will draw the line at kissing women. But I do thank Tila Tequila and MTV for inspiring some of my New Years’ resolutions and for sparking a small fire I know that’s inside this still-young-enough-for-some-antics mom and businesswoman.   


© 2008 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.


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